Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Library Woes
Okay I am venting here. I took the kids to the library today to get library cards for the girls. And the librarian wanted to see proof that they were my daughters! First question was are they yours?!?!?!?!?!?! What kind of question is that. The girls have cards but they want me to bring the papers in next visit. I don't know that I am comfortable with that. Also we get up stairs and sit down to have craft time now that we have missed story time because of the "adoption drama" And another woman asks are they sisters? Are they yours? I am thinking not nice things trying to answer question so they don't ask more. Yet they do.... Most days I love answering questions most days I love telling everyone how my precious children are from China and we lovingly traveled to bring them home.......today was not most days. I felt like I was on the defensive all day long. Iam still fumming has anyone else run into this? I have talked t other adoptive mom's and dad's they have not been asked to provide this information . Please leve comments and let me know if this is something you have experienced. Bekah one blessed mommy
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4 comments:
Oh I understand you so well...
some people are really rude and don't even think about it, what they are asking...
My white friend is married to an African... so her kids are black... she never got questions like that...
In your case I would ask to speak to the headlibrarian and tell them, that the way you were asked, that this really hurt your feelings and that this is unacceptable...
I mean, if they ask for proof, they should do it with everybody and not pick individuals...
Hugs...
Andrea
The lives of transracial adoptive parents. It is such a pain. I am blessed that our city is large enough that we have not run into this yet. I do get an enormous amount of questions about my girls, but my role as parent has not yet been questioned. I am sorry that this happened and that you are so frustrated. Sending you huge hugs! Love and miss you!
Hey Bekah..Nancy's friend here. I know an adoptive mom from up this way that had something similar happen to her. Her youngest Chinese daughter was on a bus when she was only like 3 years old and getting some special education services. The bus driver was a "fill in". Her daughter had fallen asleep on the drive home and when they got to her house and the mom went to the door of the bus, the bus driving was looking in all seats and grabbed the white child (the only one on the bus) and tried to give her to the mom. The mom said...that's not mine. When she pointed to the Chinese child, the bus driver said... "Are you SURE???" What makes this even "funnier" is that the mom is married to a black man and has 4 or 5 bi-racial kids with him, plus their 2 Chinese daughters. It's like, NO, I don't know my own kids. Come on people, it's the the year 2008 here...we have kids of every color, that doesn't necessarily match our own. Hang in there Bekah!!! :-) Shari
This is only acceptable if they ask every parent to show proof of parenthood. I cannot imagine that they do. Outrageous.
What are toddlers going to do if you aren't their real mom? Steal hundreds of dollars in board books?? Do they know how hard moms of many try to keep clutter to a minimum? I'm just trying to find a reason they'd need proof of parenthood. I'd take this to the head librarian even if you "get over it."
And wow, loved the kids in green! Cute, cute, cute.
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